I grow happier as you grow stronger. Warmth and security are deep in my bosom where you reside. All the energies I feel, you feel. Your wantings, are my cravings.
I’ll traverse the ends of the Earth to satisfy you. I’ll walk through the darkest of humanity’s terrors to protect you. I’m grateful you chose me to embark on this sacred journey.
My love for you will never fade. Even when I’m at rest deep in my grave. I am honored to be your Mother.
“What exactly is this fear you’re experiencing?” A short moment of silence hangs in the air between Donna and Dr. Harpstein. Donna cautiously thinks of a way to word her answer as she sits with her legs crossed on the sofa. Dr. Harpstein stares intently at her sitting a few feet away with pen and paper in hand. “I don’t know if it’s a fear— I just feel like someone is following me.” Donna answers embarrassingly. “I see,” Dr. Harpstein replies. “Try explaining a little more in depth. Following how? Have you seen this person?” Waiting patiently for Donna to answer, he adjusts his glasses. “Yeah, sometimes the phone will ring a certain number of times and then stop. Like someone is keeping tabs on me. I’m not paranoid I swear.” Donna says. “Now there Donna there’s no need to defend your feelings, I’m simply here to listen and help in any way I can. What other occurrences have happened to make you feel like you are being followed?” “When I get home from work at night and take a shower I always see the same car drive by my apartment.” Donna answers. Dr. Harpstein raises his eyebrows, “Every time? What kind of car if you don’t mind me asking?” “I’m not sure exactly the make and model but it’s this white SUV. It looks new and it has these really shiny rims and on the back window in the corner is a sticker of some sort.”
Donna looks down at the ground for a moment. “I’m not crazy doctor, this has been happening every night for the past three weeks. The phone calls, the drive-bys. Oh! And there was one incident when I came home and found my window open. I never leave my windows open when I’m not home!” Donna exclaims with extreme worry in her voice. “I’m so scared for my safety.” She adds. With a concerned expression on his face Dr. Harpstein places down his pen and notepad. “I think we need to have the police involved. They can do more than I ever could to make sure you feel safe. You’re not crazy or paranoid but I would like to fully evaluate you to make sure you’re not showing symptoms of psychosis or some type of personality disorder.” Donna nods her head in agreement. “I think you’re right. I didn’t even drive here because I was so afraid. I had my close friend and coworker Emily drive me.” “That’s good, have someone with you to keep you calm and take proper precautions when leaving and coming home. I will notify the police department and schedule an officer to meet and talk with you on your terms. I’d like to see you back in a week.” Dr. Harpstein replied. “That sounds good to me. Thank you so much Dr. Harpstein.” Donna and Dr. Harpstein stand up and shake hands. “If anything new develops please call my secretary and we will set you up with a sooner appointment.” He adds. Donna smiles as he escorts her to the front desk. “Steph, please schedule Donna to see me a week from today around this same time.” Dr. Harpstein says waving to Donna as she approaches Emily’s car. “See you next week Dr. Harpstein.” She gets in the car and they soon drive off.
Walking back into his office, Dr. Harpstein picks up his notepad and pen to place on his desk. Opening up a drawer he pulled out a pair of purple underwear and rubs it over his face. “Oh Donna,” he says breathlessly. “I got you.”
She’s an enigma.
An endless void of secrets.
A vessel of confusion.
A question with breath.
You’re immovable, you’re my rock.
My conscience on what to do, and what not.
Standing proudly by my side. Making sure my head is held up high.
Our temperaments rise like the tides.
Yet our words are fluid, there’s nothing to hide.
You give me butterflies, yet give me blues.
You make my bumpy surfaces smooth.
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.
The time has come for our souls to fuse.
Leaning over the edge, listening to gravity’s dull whisper.
Thoughts racing in my head. Where do thoughts go when you’re dead?
November skies and traffic cries lingering below.
This is it, the ending has begun.
A forward step towards the final plunge.
Blackness is something you shouldn’t hide. We’re filled with fortitude, power, robustness, and pride. The Blackness you tried to slaughter and demonize. Filling history with blasphemous actions and lies.
Your forefathers tried to cut our tongues. You ripped our parents from their young. Scientifically accused us of being dumb. We rose, we conquered, and fought as one.
Blackness is something that isn’t wrong. We walk like our ancestors, tall and strong. The battles we fight still hard and long.
Blackness is resplendent and marching on.
There’s times where I don’t feel grounded.
I get nervous with the unfamiliar. I feel like sometimes I don’t fit in. Like I’m on a scavenger hunt deep down within.
There’s bravery in venturing out, but I still hold a piece of me inside. Something familiar. Something I can sink into when I feel like I have to hide.
I’m all about vibing and having a good time. But it shouldn’t cost me my comfort or my peace of mind. I just want balance. An energy I can recognize.
It’s okay to be open and trying new things. But it’s also okay not to dive yourself all the way in. Take your time adjusting, living in the moment is key. I am my own anchor. Change starts with Me.